Hello, dear friend! Transition from communication online to a personal meeting: what secrets language of a body can give and how to avoid misunderstanding on the first appointment. Further useful tips from psychology are given.
Today important day! After long evenings at the computer, brisk telephone conversations and constant exchange of letters, uneasy James sits in cafe and looks forward to Marin. He already saw her photo, but often on a photo people look absolutely differently, than in real life… Perhaps, all talk with Marina was such concerning only because under cover of the Internet both felt more surely… Now everything will become clear.
It is time to see the first time each other. Certainly, James has come the fixed time slightly earlier, and Marina, as well as it is necessary to the lady, slightly is late. Sergey all is intense and waiting looks at a door: every time when she opens, he shudders. His left leg nervously taps under a table and, without noticing that, it begins to bite lips. Stop! Unless he wants to make such first impression on the Marina? Before he is captured by panic, Sergey has to sigh and think several times deeply, how exactly Marina will apprehend him the first several minutes of a conversation.
Body language on the first appointment: what it is necessary to pay attention?
The bearing, mimicry and gestures define how we are perceived by other people. It is scientifically proved that healthy self-confidence is a key to success in many vital spheres. Self-assured, but not haughty or indecisive persons, make an impression of attractive, successful and nice people. Therefore, at the first meeting with the stranger, it is impossible to make an impression of shyness or high-regularity at all.
Remember a situation when you had to deal with very not the self-assured and indecisive person. While shyness and shyness of children sometimes causes affection, silent and indecisive adults often make an impression of uncertain or even incompetent people. Shyness can be also apprehended as lack of interest. It would be desirable to avoid all this on the first appointment.
The holding-down shyness is a one extreme which should be avoided. Other extreme is arrogance. Many people hide fear or uncertainty behind arrogance. But it is from outside difficult to understand what really happens in us.
Pay attention to body language. You can make unconsciously an impression of the haughty person, for example, through the chin raised or extended forward, and also to a stare. Try to avoid it. And, of course, smile! The smile is always positively perceived by other people.
First meeting face to face: how to behave on the first appointment?
It seemed to Sergey that the door of cafe has opened already for the 100-th time when at last Marina has entered. And what James? He is covered by a panic attack. What to do and how to behave? On the one hand, he doesn’t want to look too excited, on the other hand – too indifferent. It would be cruel to ignore the Marine with affected coolness. To jump from the place and, swinging hands, to rush her on a meeting, crying out “Hi!”, – too it is silly. How to find golden mean between coolness and the increased nervousness to look attractive and open, but at the same time not to seem naive, confused or silly? As Marina hasn’t noticed James yet, but looks in his direction, he can nod and, smiling, to greet her. Thus, James will manage to attract attention Marina, without fixing at the same time eyes of people around.
According to researchers in the field of communication psychology, the easy nod of the head and reserved friendly gesture by a hand make a positive impression and attract to you attention of other person.
And here Marina faces James. How it is correct to greet her? James doesn’t know, whether he should get up, or it is better to remain to sit. Should he give her a hand or, on the basis of close communication on correspondence, it is better to embrace her at once, or even to kiss on a cheek? In some sense, they already rather well know each other, and in some – are badly familiar. How will treat Marin that he will embrace her? Whether she will misunderstand him?
He need stand up anyway as the gentleman to be urgent also in the XXI m a century. But what’s next?
Psychologists advise in this case easily to touch a hand an elbow or a shoulder of the interlocutor and to greet him by name. It the touch isn’t persuasive and at the same time helps to come into contact with the person and to improve the relations.
If you sit down to a table, then it is better to sit opposite to each other, than nearby that the girl felt that she has a necessary personal space. If you sit down too close, she will uncomfortably feel.
Marina and James sit at a table, and the first ice in the relations has already thawed. During correspondence at them enough general subjects for communication therefore it is easy for them to begin a conversation have collected. Big advantage online of acquaintances consists in it!
How to show interest during the conversation?
Having observed Marina and James, we see a brisk conversation. By means of mimicry, gestures and a manner to behave, they show big interest in what is told by the interlocutor.
In psychology of communication there are several basic rules how to show to the interlocutor interest in a conversation. Nods the head say to the interlocutor about what you actively listen to and watch what he tells. By means of it, you keep up the conversation and induce the interlocutor to continue the story. Your trunk also has to be slightly inclined towards the interlocutor.
During the conversation it is very important to support visual contact, and also to translate a view of objects about which there is a speech. For example, if James tells why he has bandaged a hand, Marin it is worth darting a glance at his hand. You can also show interest and enthusiasm for a conversation if you repeat separate words or phrases from the story of the interlocutor.
The humour is very delicate subject in case two persons still insufficiently well know each other. Can happen that your interlocutor won’t be able to understand when you joke, and when there is no as not all people rather accurately show it mimicry and gestures. Therefore don’t forget that the humour which isn’t supported with the corresponding manifestations of language of a body can mislead your interlocutor.
For this situation there are also councils helping to avoid misunderstanding. When you joke, slightly incline the head and wink at the interlocutor. If you consider that it can look unnaturally, it is possible just to smile and at the end to notice that it was the joke. Remember that your interlocutor still insufficiently well knows you and don’t wait that he will read your thoughts.
Marina’s conversation with James proceeds without any misunderstanding and James is completely fascinated by the interlocutor. The marine would like to show to James too that it finds him attractive. Only as to make it?
How to show personal interest?
Experts in the field of psychology of communication advise in this case the same strategy, as for display of interest in a conversation: slightly bend to the interlocutor, smile and support visual contact. Women often show the interest, slightly inclining the head, lowering a chin and darting glances from under eyelashes, biting lips. Short touches (for example when both laugh at a successful joke) also speak about personal interest. Besides, some things can be put into words already on the first appointment. For example, it is possible to tell that you have perfectly spent evening and you will be glad to meet once again!
Thank you for your attention. Have a good time!